25 Ways to Stay Balanced, Sane and Intentional During the Holiday Season!
Ready or not…. Here they come…the “Holidays!”
From late November through the new year, the annual holiday marathon begins. The holiday season starts early by making its arrival through exorbitant advertising, an onslaught of Christmas movies, and holiday music that saturates our airways. We are inundated with messaging that tells us it is time to experience incredible joy, abundant gift-giving, “Hallmark” family traditions, Pinterest perfect holiday decorations, and deep, happy, connected family gatherings. We slowly start to get sucked into the many pressures and expectations mandated by the digital and TV world, which constantly presents us with images of a picture-perfect holiday season.
This media brainwashing is a perfect reinforcement of past unmet expectations coupled with bitter-sweet feelings of nostalgia. Thus, creating the perfect holiday recipe for “’tis the season” of:
burn out;
emotional eating;
way too much alcohol;
fatigue;
drama; and
debt.
“Wait,” you say! Not so much bah-hum-BUG! This is supposed to be a festive and joyous time of year, with pretty lights, decorative trees, and rejoicing in peace on earth. It is a time to be present and reflect with gratitude about our lives and the lives of those we love. Yes, all of that is there to enjoy!
So, how can we stay on track and enjoy the true gifts of the season? How can you make this year different from stressful seasons in the past?
One of the best ways to claim and create the holiday you desire is to place yourself in the space of intention versus reaction. While there’s no quick fix for eliminating stress entirely, there are things you can do to help manage it and mitigate its effects.
Balanced Soul is offering 25 tips to be intentional during the Holidays. Read one a day and take action if it speaks to you. May you cross the holiday finish line in January 2022, as a healthy, happier, and peaceful YOU!
Set Your Intention for the Holidays
Visualize and think about how you would like to experience the Holidays. What is a reasonable amount of gatherings and parties based on your energy level? How can you have a meaningful gathering with less stress? Discuss this with your family, spouse or, partner. Communication is key. Together, design how you intend for the Holidays to play out.
Schedule Downtime
It doesn’t have to be the month of December to have a schedule that leaves no time to enjoy our families and ourselves. Although the holiday season offers time off, it also brings many social commitments that can leave us feeling drained. No matter what your personality type, we all need time to rest and recuperate. Allowing some space between festivities creates time to take a breath and get our groove back. Remember, it isn’t the quantity, but the quality of social experiences that leads to a sense of connection with others.
Give (In Other Ways)
When it comes to giving, our society tends to focus on the biggest and most expensive holiday gifts. Advertisements touting the perfect gift “for her” are now suggesting the new model SUV or diamond necklace. That is not realistic. The most meaningful gifts are the gifts of time and attention. Giving experiences can be more beneficial than giving things. Moreover, giving to those less fortunate is a great way of helping our neighbors in need, while receiving the health benefits that comes with the act of giving.
It’s Okay to Avoid the Holidays
From TV specials to seasonal movies depicting tight-knit families enjoying each other’s company, we are inundated with messages on how we should act and feel during the holiday season. For many people the holiday season not tied to love and harmony, but rather to loss and loneliness. Feeling the pressure from outside factors to conform to the glad tidings of the season may only feed into existing depression or sadness. Accepting our feelings is one of the ways we can break free of the holiday “shoulds” and allow ourselves this time to do what we need to do. There are times when a seasonal celebration is not what we need…and that’s okay.
Set A Budget
Isn’t it always that when we go into the store to pick up one last gift, we leave with bags of presents? The sad irony is most gifts will be forgotten or set aside soon enough leaving us to wonder why we spent the money in the first place. To come out of the holiday season financially fit, it is important to take a realistic inventory of what we have to spend and set a budget for each person on our list. It is not worth binging on gifts if we are only going to suffer a credit card hangover in January. Consider cutting the cost on gift-giving by trying a “White Elephant” exchange or picking names out of a hat and only buying for the person you picked, with a set price limit.
Avoid Setting the Standard of Perfection
Thanks to social media and home décor networks, we are exposed to countless images of the “perfect” holiday season. Gone are the days of paper chain links on the tree and a simple string of lights on the house. Holiday home decorating and party hosting is now on steroids.
Perfectionism has been correlated to stress, anger, and other mental health issues. We may work around the clock to prepare the perfect family dinner with all the trimmings, only to become frustrated and angry when we do not attain it. If we expect perfection, we will always be disappointed because perfection does not exist. It would do us all good to lower our expectations and be happy with the string of popcorn on the tree and an overcooked turkey for a change.
Just Say No
With the holidays comes the pressure to entertain, be entertained, and give of our money and ourselves. For some, this comes naturally, but for others it leaves them feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and stressed out. Establishing personal boundaries is one of the best things we can do for our health during the holidays. Learning to say “no” will leave you time to focus on what is most important. Begin by drafting up a list of the important events (a grocery list so to speak) and refer to it when other offers arise. It is much easier to stick to a plan if you already have one.
Eat a Vegetable
With all the home-baked goodies at work and home, it is challenging to remember to eat our veggies. Chronic ingestion of chocolate, cookies, alcohol, and cake can lead to fatigue, gastrointestinal challenges, and even depression. Plan a few meals during the day that include as many servings of veggies as possible or prepare a plate of veggies with dip to sit on the kitchen counter for munching (instead of chips). By keeping up with a healthy eating regime, it will be easier to sustain energy levels through the festive season.
Get Your ZZZZZ’s
The party season comes late nights (coupled with hangovers). As we begin to feel the pressure of the season on our shoulders, sleep deprivation makes the tiniest molehill look like a mountain. A good night’s sleep (anything between 7 – 9 hours of deep sleep) has amazing restorative powers and provides the resiliency needed to get to the New Year - with our nerves intact. If getting to sleep is a challenge, try turning off any screens 30-45 minutes before bedtime and take a hot shower or bath to relax and induce sleep.
Who will Host the Party This Year?
Stop Hosting. For perpetual hosts and entertainers, this can be hard, but you don’t need to play caterer every year. For example, if you usually do a New Year’s brunch and are tired of hosting, maybe you can meet up with those same friends for a winter walk and hot cocoa instead.
Start Hosting. Conversely, being responsible for a major occasion can feel extremely liberating, especially if you have never pulled it off before. Maybe there’s an older family member looking to pass the torch?
Adopt a New Tradition
If you admire a new cultural tradition - give it a go! Just because one didn’t grow up in Iceland doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Jolabokaflod or “Christmas Book Flood”, which is the Icelandic tradition of giving new books on Christmas Eve and drinking cups of hot chocolate while reading together into the night. Roll fresh oranges through the open door of your home on Chinese New Year, which is said to bring good luck and happiness into the coming year. Traditions are part of what makes life feel like a celebration, so add, subtract and edit yours in ways that feel meaningful and encouraging.
Spend Time Outside
Have you ever seen those crazy photos of Nordic parents putting their babies’ strollers outside in the snow for naptime? This ancient practice is still popular in Northern European countries today. Parents claim the cold weather is good for the babes and that they sleep better in the fresh air. I could not agree more. Getting outside, even during the winter months, is crucial for good physical, mental, and spiritual health. Even if it is only for 20 minutes. A little sun exposure on your skin and in your eyes keeps your circadian rhythm on point and can even improve sleep. And fresh, cool air and contact with nature can calm your nervous system and boost immunity. Consider adding a winter walk to your next family get-together.
Limit Sugar and Alcohol
The holidays are all about parties, delicious cocktails, and office cupcakes. Too much sugar and alcohol can compromise your immune system, making you more susceptible to colds and the flu. Be deliberate in taking vitamins and healthy eating to boost your immune system in between parties. Drink a glass of water between alcoholic drinks. Continue to exercise and make it a priority during your day. A good workout is the best stress relief.
Get Clear on your Boundaries
Even if you have clear boundaries at work or with colleagues or friends, it’s unlikely you have them with the people closest to you. That is because it is difficult to create boundaries with those, we have a history and those with who we are vulnerable. Before you visit your loved ones this holiday season, sit down and figure out exactly what you will and will not put up with. Racist relatives? Drunk uncle? Tap into your higher self and ask how exactly you will respond. For instance, if your Aunt Lucy likes to tie one on at Christmas dinner and brings up hurtful past family experiences, it is ok to leave the room. Call her a cab instead of offering to drive her home. Be warned: loved ones, especially family, do not always respond well to healthy boundaries. But never fear, you can do it.
Protect Your Energy
There are a hundred different ways to protect your energy. Instead of time management, practice energy management. We all have a certain amount of energy to do our days, we all know the feeling of when we are depleted and feeling run down. Be a protector of your energy, notice BEFORE you get to an irritable place. Be your best advocate about what you need. Get an Airbnb this year instead of staying with your folks the entire time. Keep doing the parts of your routine that make you feel good. Bubble yourself. This is one of the easiest ways to protect your energy and all it takes is a little visualization. For instance, let’s say a tense conversation starts to heat up around the dinner table, simply picture a beautiful, translucent bubble sounding your entire body. A simple energetic boundary between you and someone else can make you impervious to their snarky comments and negative energy.
Take Care Of You First
Anyone who has flown on an airplane is familiar with the instructions given before the flight takes off, “in the event of the oxygen masks being deployed place it on your face first before helping others.” The old adage of helping we first before helping others applies to the holiday season as well. If your instinct is to decline the party for the couch and a bowl of popcorn, listen. When we care for ourselves, we can more effectively care for our families. During stressful times always remember to take a break, schedule a facial, massage, or acupuncture session. If you have a therapist, coach, or healer you work with regularly, the holidays are not the time to cancel your sessions.
Journal
Simple, easy, portable, and free, journaling is like carrying around a therapist in your bag. The holidays are stressful because there is so much information swimming around in our heads. Take a few minutes each day and write down whatever comes to mind. Just the act of putting thoughts on paper helps clear our minds and decrease stress levels. Getting thoughts out of your head and into the physical world makes seemingly overwhelming issues less intense. Five to ten minutes of getting your feelings on paper can be immensely helpful. After you have written about it, turn it into a to-do list if that would be helpful.
Double-Down On Gratitude
“Life is what is happening when you are busy making other plans.”- John Lennon
There is no end to the annoyances that can pop up during the holidays. How about a well-planned cookie baking event going haywire due to a full-on toddler meltdown? Or trying to pick up your parents up from a busy airport on Thanksgiving only to experience a traffic jam delaying your dinner plans? This is exactly why we have to remember how good we have it. Yes, YOU! You are reading these words, aren’t you? That means you have eyes that can see, a computer or phone to read things on. Even though family dynamics can be challenging, most of us have a deep love for family. Be conscious of the time we have left on earth with those we love. Write down three things you are grateful for every day. Expressing gratitude decreases stress by reminding us of what is going right.
Breathe
When we are stressed or anxious our breathing can become shallow, which harms our moods, anxiety, and body. The simple act of taking a deep breath calms you while lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. Take a deep breath in through your nose for a count of 3, hold it for a count of 3, and then exhale through your mouth for a count of 6. Make sure your exhale is a little longer than your inhale, and you’re set.
Cope Ahead
Expect the unexpected during the holidays. Perhaps an unplanned guest shows up to your party or you burn your signature cookies. Whatever comes your way, remember to take a step back, and notice your reaction while taking slow, deep breaths. Come up with some encouragements ahead of time to remind yourself of when things don’t go your way. Examples include:
“I’m doing the best I can right now”
“I’m only human”
“I can cope with this”
“Life is good”
Contribute
Give a gift, volunteer, or do something thoughtful and surprising for someone else. No matter how you give back, you will benefit by generating positive emotions for yourself. Contributing also helps you find meaning and gain perspective. Help and get involved in a cause for those in need.
Laugh
Let’s face it, the holidays are full of opportunities to laugh. If you find yourself in a state of seriousness, tight focus, and irritability, stop and check-in. What is the look on your face? What is your body language? Find a way to laugh! Perhaps laugh at your tightness - do you look a lot like the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz serving Christmas dinner? Laughing at yourself and in general changes body chemistry and helps change your perspective in helpful ways. So, Ho-Ho-Ho it up! Smiles are contagious.
Prioritize
Cut back and prioritize your to-do list this holiday season. Now is NOT the time to see how many places you can be in at once (the answer is: only ONE) or to find out if you can keep everyone happy. (The answer is: a big NO.)
Create an Escape Plan
If you already know that a particular event is going to push your buttons, strategize a couple of ways to remove yourself from the situation. Consider taking a quick walk or if you’re hosting the event, make sure to keep one bedroom off-limits to guests and use that room as your safe space to take some time for yourself if you need it.
Be Present
Before your event, take a few minutes, breathe, and tell yourself to “BE HERE NOW”. Consider having guests put their phones in a basket at the front door. Plan a fun interactive game to engage with each other. How about placing a question card at each person’s table setting and going around the table and discussing the questions? Breathe, Breathe, Breathe! Focus on the traits you admire and love that make up your family and friends and the beauty of the season.